🍨 The Half-Pint No. 2
Metaverse, Peloton, Coca-Cola, Annheuser-Busch, and M&Ms
I’m trying something new! Every Monday you’ll still get my column as scheduled. On Thursdays, you’ll get *drumroll*… The Half-Pint! The Half-Pint is a quick scoop of marketing news with a dash of Stanley’s patented sassy stardust sprinkles on top. Let me know what you think!
1. What Will Your Brand Feel Like in The Metaverse?
A prime example of marketers working hard to invent the world’s dumbest questions. In the metaverse, your brand will feel like a party the police just broke up. Plot-twist: you’re the cops.
2. Peloton Claims Its Second On-Screen Victim
Peloton can’t catch a break: their shares plummet 80%, they murder Mr. Big, they give this guy a heart attack, and marketing critic and two-time sexiest man of the year runner-up Stanley Bogode rips into them... twice.
3. Coca-Cola: “Turns Out, Customers Can’t Read”
Coca-Cola is rolling out redesigned cans in single and dual-tone colors to help represent their many bold flavors. Now aisle-skimming customers can snag their favorite coke without the burden of a rigorous 1st-grade education.
4. Annheuser-Busch Redesigns Logo; Customers Still Unaware That Annheuser-Busch Has Logo
I’m a big fan of companies changing their logo during slow news months. You can tell the logos apart, but I had to Google the original because it turns out no one cares.
5. M&Ms Mascots Now Racially Inclusive, But Still Reinforce Unrealistic Body Types
Mars redesigned the mascots to be more inclusive, i.e. not white. I welcome the change, candies shouldn’t have a race because they are talking chocolate-filled ovals and yet this is the conversation we’re having — welcome to 2022, please make it stop.
That’s the 2nd edition of The Half-Pint. Share it with someone who is the opposite of a stick in the mud.